Wednesday, July 13, 2005

48-plus hours.

It's not all that long if you think about it that way. I'm going to be gone for just a little over 48 hours. And I'm supposed to have fun. I am planning to have fun. I will try to have fun. Fun.

But I am Mama and Mama is supposed to be closer to her babies than 3 hours away. Okay, so that doesn't even sound all that far. Three hours. Not far.

So, I'm not going to be gone very long and it's not that far away. What's the big deal then? Well, something tears at my heart to think of leaving. To think that someone might need me. Or I might need them. Or I might need Doug. He's the only person on this planet that understands me. What if I am misunderstood?

And then there's the whole safety thing. What if something happens to someone while I'm gone? Or what if something happens to me? It turns my stomach to think of my kids growing up without me....

One time a very wise friend reminded me that God is just as much in control of my life whether I am on the ground or in the air (the fear of bridges thing). My being in control is an illusion. Whether I am in Chicago at CHA or here in our little house out in the corn, God is taking care of my family and me.

I will not forget you!
See, I have engraved you
on the palms of my hands...
Isaiah 49:15-16


Tiffany Renea said...

I totally know how your feeling, shoot I was gone for a total of 3 months once. Try and have some fun Stace, won't be easy, but you'll manage to make the 48 hours.

khuddle said...

We are all thinking about you. Have fun.

khuddle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mar said...

Trust!!! I think the hardest thing is for a mum to be away from her children. What a new appreciation you will have for them when you get back!!!!! Mar

kellicrowe said...

have a great time
the authenticity with which you blog helps me to feel more normal

Suzanne B. said...
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Suzanne B. said...

Stacey, I struggle with fears every time I leave home or Bob and Claire leave home. This Sunday is my monthly day off, and Bob will take Claire down to San Diego to see her grandma, and I will worry throughout the day, and it will cast a small shadow. I know as Christians this is not the way to live, but I struggle with fears all the time. Maybe we can pray for each other. ps Your blog and your words really minister to me, and help me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you, Stacey.

kellicrowe said...

this is your BLOG talking
it is kinda lonely here....all alone
not a lot of posting going on
remember whne you posted like every day for a while?
Yeah, good times
good times
just so you know....your blog misses you.....